Monday, December 30, 2013

A Cup of Coffee and a Proposal

If you haven't heard the news by now you are late. I am engaged and getting married February 8, 2014. I wanted to take the time to post a blog since it has been a little while and a lot has changed since the last one. After leaving the NFL, I moved back to Mississippi and began working with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes at Mississippi State University (MSU) and it has been a blessing. The next blessing came soon after I took the job. I began dating a woman that loves Jesus and she quickly stole my heart. :) Here is how it all happened...

While I was working in St. Louis, I spent a lot of time pursuing the Lord and understanding what it meant to be content in singleness and become the man God created me to be. I realized I wasn't ready to be in a relationship although for a long time I thought I was. The more I read the Word and prayed to the Lord I realized I was not where I needed to be in my personal walk with Christ and it was time to step it up and make a change. It began with praying, reading the Word, journaling, and talking to brothers that were running after the Lord in their own lives. While I was learning what it meant to be completely devoted to the Lord in my personal life without the expectation of finding a spouse, I met a woman. Yes, I met THE woman. My soon to be wife. (40 days away to be exact but who's counting).

Christa Danielle Hudson was an admissions counselor for Mississippi State and she was working in the St. Louis area last year. She lived in Memphis, TN but travelled through Illinois and Missouri to recruit high school students to MSU. I saw she was coming up to St. Louis one week, and I knew she wouldn't know anyone so I asked her if she wanted to grab coffee while she was in town and just chat. We met at a Starbucks that was down from my house and talked for about 2 hours. At this time, I thought Christa and I had already met because we had similar friends while we were in school together at MSU, but I found out later that this was our first time ever meeting. We talked about our jobs, our passions, our desires, our goals, and what we sensed the Lord doing in our lives at that time. I knew from the beginning that this was a WOMAN and a special one. She loved Jesus. She loved talking about Jesus. She loved talking about what He had saved her from. She loved talking about how He continued to redeem her and restore her life. She loved people. She talked about her friends. She talked about her desire to pour into the lives of young women. As we talked, I was blown away by the woman I met for a cup of coffee. She was unlike any woman I had met before because the focus was never her. It was always Christ and others. She smiled the whole time.. because of me, of course :). Her laugh. It is still something I love about her. It is infectious and those that know her enjoy it as well. After she finished her hot chocolate and I finished my skinny vanilla latte, we kept talking because it was going well. My only reason for wanting to get coffee with her was to chat and just say hello since she was in town. We finished the night and went our separate ways and we said we would meet up again next time she was in St. Louis if I could get away from work. Well, she came up again a month or so later and we went to a professional hockey game and just talked about life and what the Lord was doing and had done since we last met. It was fun but we were both very much intentional about not allowing ourselves to see our time together as anything more than friends that were hanging out. The sweetest thing about the time we spent together was the topics of conversation each time. We talked about so much. From the very beginning, we were honest with one another and made communication a priority. We talked about things she had experienced and things she had seen others experience which allowed me to see her for who she was. The last time she came to St. Louis we only saw one another for about 30 minutes. We met for some ice cream and chatted before I had to be back to work and I thought that would be the last time we saw one another unless she came back to the city for work........

So, we hung out 3 times in St. Louis for a combined time of about 4 hours and that was all. But, those 4 hours seemed like 4 years. I knew her. I was falling for her and didn't even know it. Christa was very intentional about not allowing herself to be lead by her emotions/feelings which made our friendship doable because there were no expectations even though we hung out with one another. Although I felt like I knew her and knew her well, I was extremely cautious of how much we talked because I didn't want to lead her on and I wasn't at a place where I was ready to pursue a relationship. I kept running after Jesus and the more I ran after Him the more I saw her running after Him and I wanted her to join me so we could run together... for Christ. So....

I moved back to Mississippi and began working with FCA. Christa and I would occasionally hang out if she was ever in Starkville for work but it wasn't anything serious.
I came to a point in my own life that I was ready to be in a relationship. I called Christa on a Tuesday morning and told her how much I had enjoyed spending time with her and I wanted to pursue her with intentions of dating and marrying her.
I believe dating should be done with the intent to marry. Period. If you aren't ready to marry then you aren't ready to date. 

The following weekend I went to Memphis with her and saw her interact with her friends there and it affirmed everything I already knew about her. She loves people. She loves serving. She loves laughing. After church that Sunday (July 21, 2013) we went back to her apt and I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes. It was great. :)

I will go ahead and tell you that I knew that day I wanted to marry this woman. I knew I had found my wife. I knew I found the woman that I wanted to come alongside me and do damage for the Kingdom. The only thing I had to do now was save the money for the ring.

Let's get a cup of coffee has a different meaning now doesn't it? I would say it does.
I asked Christa to be my girlfriend July 21, 2013.
I asked her to marry me October 26, 2013.
We are getting married February 8, 2014.

I have always wondered how I would propose to my wife. About a year and half ago I began writing letters to my future wife. They would begin with "Dear Future Wife" and they would be about things I was praying for her that day. Some of them consisted of things I was praying for us and how I looked forward to meeting her and doing work for the Lord together. I had written 10 letters and they were all dated at the top. I called Christa's dad and asked him could I stop by to talk to him, so I went to her parent's house and asked her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage. What a sweet day. I then called some of Christa's friends and told them I would be proposing and wanted them to be to celebrate with us. This is how it went down...

Christa and I had planned a cookout with her family and mine about a month earlier so I knew this would be a great time. We drove to meet them where everyone already was waiting on us. I laid out 8 letters for her to read on the table inside and my brother instructed her and told her what to do. After she read the first 8 letters that I laminated and put in envelopes, she realized the last two were empty and my brother told her she had to go outside to get those. Once she walked out back, she saw both of our families and all of our friends lined on the outside of the sidewalk that lead down to the pier. I was waiting on her at the bottom with the last 2 letters. Once she made her way down to the bottom, I read the last 2 letters that no longer began with "Dear Future Wife" but they began with "Dear Christa." I read the last 2 letters and grabbed my ring that was placed down on the dock in a bucket of Halloween candy and asked her to marry me. She said yes with a big smile and tears rolling down her face. I told her I wanted a woman that would join me and do damage for the Kingdom and I found her. She will be my wife. February 8,  2014 will be a day of celebration and worship. God is so faithful. He loves me. He loves Christa. He loves you.

Christa and I hope that our relationship is a picture of the gospel.
"That they may see and know, may consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it." Isaiah 41:20

It all began with a cup of coffee and lead to a proposal and a wedding. Maybe the next cup of coffee will lead to kids............

Happy New Year! :)