A Cup of Coffee and a Proposal

If you haven't heard the news by now you are late. I am engaged and getting married February 8, 2014. I wanted to take the time to post a blog since it has been a little while and a lot has changed since the last one. After leaving the NFL, I moved back to Mississippi and began working with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes at Mississippi State University (MSU) and it has been a blessing. The next blessing came soon after I took the job. I began dating a woman that loves Jesus and she quickly stole my heart. :) Here is how it all happened...

While I was working in St. Louis, I spent a lot of time pursuing the Lord and understanding what it meant to be content in singleness and become the man God created me to be. I realized I wasn't ready to be in a relationship although for a long time I thought I was. The more I read the Word and prayed to the Lord I realized I was not where I needed to be in my personal walk with Christ and it was time to step it up and make a change. It began with praying, reading the Word, journaling, and talking to brothers that were running after the Lord in their own lives. While I was learning what it meant to be completely devoted to the Lord in my personal life without the expectation of finding a spouse, I met a woman. Yes, I met THE woman. My soon to be wife. (40 days away to be exact but who's counting).

Christa Danielle Hudson was an admissions counselor for Mississippi State and she was working in the St. Louis area last year. She lived in Memphis, TN but travelled through Illinois and Missouri to recruit high school students to MSU. I saw she was coming up to St. Louis one week, and I knew she wouldn't know anyone so I asked her if she wanted to grab coffee while she was in town and just chat. We met at a Starbucks that was down from my house and talked for about 2 hours. At this time, I thought Christa and I had already met because we had similar friends while we were in school together at MSU, but I found out later that this was our first time ever meeting. We talked about our jobs, our passions, our desires, our goals, and what we sensed the Lord doing in our lives at that time. I knew from the beginning that this was a WOMAN and a special one. She loved Jesus. She loved talking about Jesus. She loved talking about what He had saved her from. She loved talking about how He continued to redeem her and restore her life. She loved people. She talked about her friends. She talked about her desire to pour into the lives of young women. As we talked, I was blown away by the woman I met for a cup of coffee. She was unlike any woman I had met before because the focus was never her. It was always Christ and others. She smiled the whole time.. because of me, of course :). Her laugh. It is still something I love about her. It is infectious and those that know her enjoy it as well. After she finished her hot chocolate and I finished my skinny vanilla latte, we kept talking because it was going well. My only reason for wanting to get coffee with her was to chat and just say hello since she was in town. We finished the night and went our separate ways and we said we would meet up again next time she was in St. Louis if I could get away from work. Well, she came up again a month or so later and we went to a professional hockey game and just talked about life and what the Lord was doing and had done since we last met. It was fun but we were both very much intentional about not allowing ourselves to see our time together as anything more than friends that were hanging out. The sweetest thing about the time we spent together was the topics of conversation each time. We talked about so much. From the very beginning, we were honest with one another and made communication a priority. We talked about things she had experienced and things she had seen others experience which allowed me to see her for who she was. The last time she came to St. Louis we only saw one another for about 30 minutes. We met for some ice cream and chatted before I had to be back to work and I thought that would be the last time we saw one another unless she came back to the city for work........

So, we hung out 3 times in St. Louis for a combined time of about 4 hours and that was all. But, those 4 hours seemed like 4 years. I knew her. I was falling for her and didn't even know it. Christa was very intentional about not allowing herself to be lead by her emotions/feelings which made our friendship doable because there were no expectations even though we hung out with one another. Although I felt like I knew her and knew her well, I was extremely cautious of how much we talked because I didn't want to lead her on and I wasn't at a place where I was ready to pursue a relationship. I kept running after Jesus and the more I ran after Him the more I saw her running after Him and I wanted her to join me so we could run together... for Christ. So....

I moved back to Mississippi and began working with FCA. Christa and I would occasionally hang out if she was ever in Starkville for work but it wasn't anything serious.
I came to a point in my own life that I was ready to be in a relationship. I called Christa on a Tuesday morning and told her how much I had enjoyed spending time with her and I wanted to pursue her with intentions of dating and marrying her.
I believe dating should be done with the intent to marry. Period. If you aren't ready to marry then you aren't ready to date. 

The following weekend I went to Memphis with her and saw her interact with her friends there and it affirmed everything I already knew about her. She loves people. She loves serving. She loves laughing. After church that Sunday (July 21, 2013) we went back to her apt and I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes. It was great. :)

I will go ahead and tell you that I knew that day I wanted to marry this woman. I knew I had found my wife. I knew I found the woman that I wanted to come alongside me and do damage for the Kingdom. The only thing I had to do now was save the money for the ring.

Let's get a cup of coffee has a different meaning now doesn't it? I would say it does.
I asked Christa to be my girlfriend July 21, 2013.
I asked her to marry me October 26, 2013.
We are getting married February 8, 2014.

I have always wondered how I would propose to my wife. About a year and half ago I began writing letters to my future wife. They would begin with "Dear Future Wife" and they would be about things I was praying for her that day. Some of them consisted of things I was praying for us and how I looked forward to meeting her and doing work for the Lord together. I had written 10 letters and they were all dated at the top. I called Christa's dad and asked him could I stop by to talk to him, so I went to her parent's house and asked her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage. What a sweet day. I then called some of Christa's friends and told them I would be proposing and wanted them to be to celebrate with us. This is how it went down...

Christa and I had planned a cookout with her family and mine about a month earlier so I knew this would be a great time. We drove to meet them where everyone already was waiting on us. I laid out 8 letters for her to read on the table inside and my brother instructed her and told her what to do. After she read the first 8 letters that I laminated and put in envelopes, she realized the last two were empty and my brother told her she had to go outside to get those. Once she walked out back, she saw both of our families and all of our friends lined on the outside of the sidewalk that lead down to the pier. I was waiting on her at the bottom with the last 2 letters. Once she made her way down to the bottom, I read the last 2 letters that no longer began with "Dear Future Wife" but they began with "Dear Christa." I read the last 2 letters and grabbed my ring that was placed down on the dock in a bucket of Halloween candy and asked her to marry me. She said yes with a big smile and tears rolling down her face. I told her I wanted a woman that would join me and do damage for the Kingdom and I found her. She will be my wife. February 8,  2014 will be a day of celebration and worship. God is so faithful. He loves me. He loves Christa. He loves you.

Christa and I hope that our relationship is a picture of the gospel.
"That they may see and know, may consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it." Isaiah 41:20

It all began with a cup of coffee and lead to a proposal and a wedding. Maybe the next cup of coffee will lead to kids............

Happy New Year! :)

Why I am leaving the NFL: Walking by faith and fighting for our generation

The last year has been an amazing experience working with the St. Louis Rams in their scouting department. I’ve enjoyed it more than I ever could have imagined. I learned so much and developed friendships that will last a lifetime. I feel so honored to have been able to be part of such a premier organization, and I will always remember the things I learned and the people I met along the way. Life is all about relationships. From the security guards, janitors, maintenance crew, nutritionist, coaches, marketing department, and everyone else, I feel blessed that I was able to meet so many awesome people.  Even though I feel like I could have done well in this career and been successful, sometimes the Lord calls us to something else. He doesn’t always call the qualified but He will qualify the called. Early in the year, I read a quote that truly impacted me in more ways than I could have imagined. Here is the quote:

“Who stands fast? Only the man whose final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom, or his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all this when he is called to obedient and responsible action in faith and in exclusive allegiance to God – the responsible man, who tries to make his whole life an answer to the question and call of God.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

After I read this, I wrote it down and read it often.  Being in the NFL is a dream come true for many and a memory that I will remember the rest of my life.  Being part of 1 of 32 teams is an honor and one that I never took for granted. Although it was great, something was missing for me as if I had a void in my life.  I would evaluate players, write my reports, go to games, travel to private workouts, but when we would begin talking about players and their backgrounds, I was immediately drawn to their off the field issues more than I was their ability to play football.  Over and over again the same information seemed to be present in their lives “Single parent home. No father. This kid needs a man in his life. He doesn’t have anyone to lead him. His role models are absent.” It spoke to my heart and the Lord continued to speak throughout the year.  Our world is in need of men that will step up to the plate and take a stand for their families. Our world is in need of a generation of men to rise up and make a difference for the future. Kids have nobody to look up to these days.  If they do have someone to look up to it’s usually a figure that isn’t a good one. It’s usually one that will lead them down the wrong path. I want the youth of today to be able to look around them and see men who act like men. I’ve seen too many kids make decisions that changed their life forever because they lacked people in their life that could help them. I desire for them to see men who love their wives. I desire for them to see men who pursue, honor, and respect their wives. I desire to see men who love their kids.  I desire to see men who spend time with their families and make them a priority. I desire to see men that quit worrying so much about themselves and more about others. I desire to see men that will say no to things that bring them instant gratification and yes to things that will bring delayed satisfaction. I desire to see men that are givers. I desire to see men that care more about others than themselves.  I desire to see men that will seek help to make their lives better which will make their families better. I desire to see men that will quit finding their identity in their jobs and find it in Christ. I desire to see men that won't sacrifice their family for a career. These are the men I am looking for and the man I ultimately want to be. I want to see a generation of men rise up and take back the streets. I want to see a generation of men rise up and take back their homes. I want to see a generation of men rise up and take back their relationships with their kids. I want to see a generation of men rise up and take back the schools. I want to see a generation of men rise up and take back neighborhoods. I want to see a generation of men rise up and take back what has been stolen. I want to see a generation of men rise up and take back the church. I want to see a generation of men rise up and be who God has called them to be. I’ve seen enough boys to know that we have plenty of them. The sad thing is many of those boys are grown men who haven’t grown up yet. A lot of older men are chasing women, dreams, drugs, alcohol, and other things that will NEVER bring ultimate satisfaction while their families are suffering. Not only are their families suffering but they are suffering as well. No matter who you are, where you come from, what you do, or what you have, the Lord wants to use you and will use you if you will just say yes to Him. You have a purpose. You matter. You’re life counts for more than just you. You’re loved. You’re needed. You’re wanted. My heart’s desire as I leave the NFL is to see the Lord change the hearts of men and bring them home. I want to see divorced couples reunite. I want to see absent fathers become present. I want to see those in bondage set free. I want to see broken families restored. I want to see kids that others say are hopeless become something. I want to see troubled youth change their life. I want to see lives changed. It all begins within each of us. I know I serve the almighty God. I serve the One who is in control of all things and able to do all things. To Him I cling and to Him I look for restoration and redemption.

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” 1 Corinthians 13:11

I will be moving back to Mississippi to take a full time job with Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) on campus at Mississippi State. I will be able to work with athletes and coaches, and I look forward to seeing the Lord work. Is there something the Lord has been calling you to but you are scared to say yes? I want to remind you that He is faithful. He provides. He loves you and cares for you and wants to work in your life. Don’t let what others say or don’t say hold you back. Don’t let your parents or anyone steer your life for you. Say yes to Christ if He is speaking. When our lives are over we will realize that one thing matters: What we did to impact or invest in the life of another person. It’s not about you. Love God. Love people.

Join me on this journey.  This journey will be long and tough but full of hope and victory as long as we keep Christ in the center. We fight battles on a daily basis. When it’s all said and done may we all be able to say as Paul did:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

2 Timothy 4:7

Make your life an answer to the question and call of God!

Keep fighting,

Tyson

Revival begins with honesty: I'm laying it all out there!

I chose to write this blog now because the Lord has been really working in my heart the last few months, and I felt it was time to share. I'm trusting and believing the Lord is bringing revival in your life. It can only be done when we lay it ALL at the foot of the cross. What is it that's keeping you from being able to experience Christ 100%?  What secrets are you hiding? What are you holding back? It's time for a generation to stand up and make a difference in this world. I want you to know that it is okay to share your struggles and weaknesses because it's in our weaknesses that Christ is made strong (2 Corinthians 12:9). I chose to write this blog because I felt the Lord leading me to do it, and I truly desire to see change in this world. It will begin with those of us that follow Christ. Christians now days are some of the weakest people I know. Christ calls us to be bold. He calls us to be courageous. He tells us to take up our cross daily and follow Him. It's time. Lets' get it!

Growing up, I had a problem with pornography. I never struggled with alcohol, drugs, bad language, etc. I think the first time I was exposed to it was at a friend’s house in junior high. His dad had magazines and they were in a place where he could get them, so we would look at them when nobody was around. After I was exposed to that, it was something that became a big struggle. As I grew older, pornography on the internet became a struggle and was a constant struggle for a while. In high school, I wasn’t into pornography on the internet that much although I would look on occasions. In college, it became more of a struggle because I had more alone time. I went through phases where I wouldn’t look at it at all and didn’t want to look at it because I knew it was wrong, and then I would slowly ease into a phase where I looked at it again. I came to a point where I was sick of doing something that I knew wasn’t going to bring complete satisfaction. I was searching for instant pleasure rather than delayed satisfaction. Since Adam and Eve were in the garden, our craving for instant gratification has always been present. It's in all aspects of our lives. We want things now. Everything is about convenience to us. I knew that I couldn’t make it on my own in this battle and I was sick of falling into the sin, so I paid and downloaded a software on my computer that would send emails to one of my best friends if I visited a web site that was inappropriate. It was the best thing I have ever done in my life. Once I downloaded the software and developed accountability, I stopped struggling with it. I don't have a desire to look at it anymore praise God. There would be times where I would think about it, but I reminded myself of the COVENANT I made with the Lord and my accountability partner, so by the power of the Spirit I was able to fight the temptation (Matthew 26:41). Once I was able to let that go, I was no longer bound in chains to any of that inappropriate material, and I haven't looked since I made that covenant with God and with my friend. There is nothing like the feeling of being FREE from that way of life. NO GUILT. NO SHAME. I know many people have different problems, and I'm here to tell you that the Lord can DELIVER you from whatever you are struggling with in your life. I don't know what your area is, but the Lord wants to deliver you from it if you will let Him. The devil wants to make you feel defeated, but there is VICTORY in Jesus Christ. Hallelujah. 

Accountability is what helped me attack another area of my life that I struggled in. I found out accountability is someone that is willing to step on your toes and get ALL IN YOUR BUSINESS. Once you choose someone to become your accountability partner, you are making yourself vulnerable so choose that person wisely. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Satan wants you to fear that because once you get it out, that's when you can begin to change. 

"A person who confesses their sins in the presence of a brother or sister knows that he or she is no longer alone with themselves. They can experience the presence of God in the reality of the others." Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I committed myself to being a virgin years ago and I have maintained that, but I have given into sexual temptations. I always told myself that I wanted to save myself for marriage because I felt it was sacred and intimate, and I wanted to let my wife know that I waited for her. I ‘ve had to remind myself that a self-righteous attitude about that is completely wrong and I’ve had that creep in often. Many times, we think if we aren't doing as much as someone else then we are "better" and that justification makes us feel better, but it's wrong either way because it's sin and God hates sin. I allowed myself to give into sexual temptations because my reasons for not doing it were based on performance rather than love for Christ. I was raised in the church, so I always saw it as “bad” and I wanted to stay away from it and say no, but that can only last so long. It wasn’t until I realized it was MY SIN that put Jesus on the cross. But, it was HIS LOVE FOR ME THAT HELD HIM THERE. I would participate in inappropriate conversations on social media and in person. I would allow myself to talk about things that were completely wrong and inappropriate, but I would justify what I did or what I was doing by comparing myself to another person. I forgot that the STANDARD was Jesus Christ. I was using other people as my standard. There was no true repentance in my life after I committed my sins. I was only saying sorry because I felt bad. At that time, I didn't see my sin as being grieving to the Lord. I got sick of living in this world because I knew I wanted to be a husband that loved my wife and never left her or cheated on her. I wanted to be a father that could look my child in the eyes and tell them what it means to be pure and be a man that fears God. I wanted to be a man of God that could talk to other young men about the importance of purity and clinging to Christ in all aspects of life. I wanted to be able to mold young men to boldly follow after Christ and let them know that by the power of the Spirit it was possible. I knew if I didn’t get a grip on these things now, how would I control my urges or desires in the future? I wanted to look at women as sisters and in purity, but I had failed at that for so long. I wanted to know that I could look at a woman and not let my thoughts or desires become inappropriate. I was reminded that every single woman was a woman that God loved and cherished. I began to see women as a daughter to someone. I began to think about my sister. I love her with all of my heart as if she was my child. I began to think about how much I wanted her to marry a man that was God fearing yet I was a man that was allowing my flesh to creep in all the time. I began to think if I had a child one day and she was a girl, how could I trust men if I wasn’t doing anything to be different than other men in the world? Most guys know what to say and how to say it, and I didn’t want to be that guy. Something had to change.  I knew I had to make a stand because I had fallen, and I didn't see anybody around me addressing these issues. I truly believe the NUMBER ONE failure for men today is their inability to fight sexual temptation. I'm aware of married men that are cheating on their wives. I know married men that struggle with pornography. I knew it was time. I knew that if men were going to start being men then something had to be done. It wasn't going to just happen because somebody wanted it to. I knew it was going to take stirring some things up for the Lord to be able to do what He wants. I had to allow myself to be vulnerable and transparent about my personal life so that we can begin to be the church. My accountability partner became a REAL accountability partner when these questions were asked one night: WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? WHAT SIN IS HOLDING YOU BACK?

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." James 5:16

My response to this began something that was transformational in my life and will change this world if we will abide by it. I was able to lay out all my faults and shortcomings to my brother in Christ, and I was able to truly repent of my sin. I asked the Lord to forgive me for the things that I had done, renew my spirit, and create in me a clean heart. My accountability partner and I have not let up on one another and we won't let up because we have a battle that we are in every single day. Find an accountability partner. If Christians will begin to BE REAL with each other, we will see revival in this world. 
I want you to complete a self-examination in your own heart and life. What's your secret? What is keeping you from being able to truly experience the power of God at work in your life? What area is hindering you from being who God wants you to be? Unconfessed sin is hindering the Spirit from manifesting Himself in powerful ways. But, if we will understand that grace is bigger than our sin and lay our pride down at the foot of the cross, we can admit our mistakes and approach the throne of grace boldly. If you're hiding something, it's time to let it go. 
Acknowledge it. Confess. Repent. Move forward. 

To all my men, it's time for a change. We can't keep living in that sin and being defeated by it, and we can't let our brothers be defeated either. If we are MEN, we call each other out in love and remind one another of the ultimate standard which has been established by God himself. To all the women, it's time for you to be real with one another as well. Don't hide things from others because it creates a barrier between you and God. 

My prayer is that the Holy Spirit would use this to begin a revival in your life. I'm trusting Him for that. I look forward to the work the Lord is going to do.

Keep it real!

Finally

It has been forever since I have posted a blog, but I wanted to try and get back doing it.  I have been extremely busy lately with school and working two jobs but things are going great my way.  The Lord has really been working in my life and showing me a few different things, and I will keep you updated on those as I get back to posting more regularly.  I hope you have been doing well, and I just want to encourage you to stay strong and keep the faith today. Have a wonderful Wednesday!


Want to share YOUR story with Tyson or ask him a question? Email your story or question to asktyson@tysonplee.com.

Don't be afraid to fail

I am back! I have been extremely busy since school finished for the semester, so I have been lacking on my blog, but I plan to update it more often now! I wanted to share a quote I read from former President Theodore Roosevelt and encourage you to press on. The only way to achieve is to try and in pursuit of that, failure occurs.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Have a great day!

Want to share YOUR story with Tyson or ask him a question? Email your story or question to asktyson@tysonplee.com.

Family and Friend Fellowship, Friday

I hope all of you have had a great week! I am excited about next week because my camps begin on Monday. It is the second year I have done my football camp, and I am very excited about it again this year. I had a good group of kids last year, so I am hoping things go well again this year! I want you to spend time with family and friends today and pray for Coach Al Schmidt. He is the head track and field coach at Mississippi State and he had surgery recently because of heart problems. Please pray for a speedy recovery and strength for him and his family during this time! Have a great weekend!

Want to share YOUR story with Tyson or ask him a question? Email your story or question to asktyson@tysonplee.com.

In the Arena

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

I recently came across this quote and loved it! The experience of victory and defeat are pivotal in our overall development! Don't be afraid to fail!

Want to share YOUR story with Tyson or ask him a question? Email your story or question to asktyson@tysonplee.com.